Cassyl ([info]cassyl) wrote,
@ 2006-07-29 15:04:00
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Current mood: chipper
Current music:"Police & Thieves" - the Clash

Fic: "Atonement" (Norrington/Sparrow, PG)
It's been done before, but I decided to do it again. Yes, it's Sparrington prisonbreak fiction.

And, yes, I have no doubt that this will be obsolete the very second "Pirates" 3 comes out. But I cannot bring myself to care.



Title: Atonement
Rating: PG, I guess
Pairing: James Norrington/Jack Sparrow, if you pay attention
Summary: Jack receives an unexpected visitor in the East India Trading Company's prison.
Spoilers/Warnings: This concerns itself with characters and events from "Dead Man's Chest." So you know what that means.

My copious thanks to [info]falasama for the tolerant beta.


It was the sound of footfall in the corridor that roused Jack from his restless sleep. He leaned against the wall, cheek pressed to the rough stone, eyes half-open, following the progress of those heavy footsteps with a keen ear.

“If you please,” came the order from beyond his door. There was a moment’s hesitation, followed by the sweet clamor of keys jingling that, despite his best efforts, made Jack’s heart leap hopefully. He arranged himself in a position of lazy comfort so perfect that his visitor might believe Jack wasn’t, in fact, chained to the wall. Whatever complaints he might have about them, it could not be denied that the East India Trading Company took no shortcuts in securing their goods.

Jack wasn’t entirely sure what he’d expected to see when the heavy oak door swung back, but it certainly wasn’t James Norrington in full dress uniform, that singularly ridiculous feather-lined hat back atop his white-wigged head.

At Norrington’s nod, the guard, a young, hesitant sort of fellow, closed the door behind him, and Jack heard him lock it once more.

“Ah, Commodore,” Jack said with a wry grin. “It is Commodore again, is it not?”

“It is.”

“You look well . . . And I must say, you smell much better than you did when last we met. Seems your circumstances have greatly improved. Can’t be said for us all,” he said, with a magnanimous gesture to his dismal, little cell. “One would think a man what’d escaped the belly of a prodigious sea monster and fought his way back from the ends of the earth might be qualified for some kind of medal—or at least a turn of good luck.” Jack sighed. “But it wouldn’t be sporting of me to fault you for your little subterfuge. You done what’s right by you, can’t ask more of a man that that, I’ve always said. You have my most heartfelt congratulations.” Jack put his hands together in that pious way he had, causing his chains to clatter maliciously. “I trust you’ve found the end to be worthy of the means?”

A silence stretched out between them. Norrington’s expression was cold and careless. Jack steeled himself for another one of those sanctimonious pre-hanging speeches about the sins of the father, just desserts, and other such tedious things.

“Listen closely, Sparrow,” he said in a low voice. “In a moment, I’m going to call for the guard, and when he opens the door, I shall knock him down. You’ll have a chance to make your escape.”

Jack had to admit, he was pleasantly surprised. “You sure you want to be doing that, mate?”

“The nearest exit is up the stairs and to your left,” the man continued, as if Jack had not spoken. “There is a detail of at least ten men outside. You would do best to avoid them altogether. Do I make myself understood?”

“I’m the picture of comprehension.”

Norrington’s lips twitched slightly. “And I’ll thank you to leave me unconscious.”

“I aim to please,” Jack replied with a courteous flourish that was only somewhat hampered by his shackles.

Norrington nodded once, and, lifting his voice, said, “Enjoy your walk to the gallows, Sparrow.” Then he called out to the guard, and when the door was eased open, Norrington’s fist darted out and knocked the lad off his feet.

The two of them spared a moment to marvel at the insensible body of the guard. “Admirably done, Jim,” Jack said.

“Thank you,” Norrington replied dryly. He then leaned over the lad and liberated the heavy key ring that was strapped to his belt. This he tossed to Jack, who caught it with a twist of his wrist.

“Not that I see fit to argue, understand,” he said as he tried each key in turn on his manacles, “but an outpouring of good will of this magnitude does leave a fellow wondering what would drive a promising gentleman such as yourself to commit this grievous act.”

Norrington ‘s long silence caused Jack to pause in his work. The man’s face was carefully still as he replied, “I have seen for myself what sort of man Lord Cutler Beckett is . . . He is the most despicable of tyrants—a small, craven beast of a man.”

Jack tipped his head to the side, considering the dark condemnation in Norrington’s voice. He couldn’t help but wonder just how closely Norrington had got acquainted with Beckett. “Harsh words, mate. I thought you generally reserved such censure for the likes of pirates.”

Norrington didn’t acknowledge the jibe. He merely looked stonily forward and said, “Beckett has been winning his hands for far too long. He doesn’t deserve this prize.”

“Prize, am I?” Jack mused. He could see Norrington’s muscles go tense under the heavy cloth of his uniform.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Sparrow,” Norrington replied in a hoarse whisper.

He found the appropriate key at last, and freed himself from his manacles, stepping gratefully away from the wall to which he’d been chained. “That’ll about do it,” he said, tucking the keys into his the breast pocket of his coat. He rubbed his wrists appreciatively for a moment, looking down the dim hallway, considering his next move.

Norrington unbuckled his sword belt and placed it in Jack’s hands. “You’ll be needing this.” It was heavy and Jack’s palms itched to unsheathe the blade and try it. Before Jack could utter a word of thanks, Norrington said, “Now hit me and be done with it.”

“Ah, but not before you’ve answered my question, Commodore.” Jack smiled and closed the distance between the two of them, enjoying the way the man’s lips trembled as he drew a breath. “Why save a wretch like me?”

When Norrington met his gaze, Jack felt a chill go down his spine. The man’s eyes were bright and clear and searched Jack’s face with some inscrutable urgency as he said, “Consider it the promise of redemption.”

Jack smiled. “Ta,” he said, and slammed the hilt of the sword against Norrington’s temple. His body spun as it crumpled to the ground, and Jack stepped delicately past before hurrying down the corridor.




To the sequel, "The Crux of the Matter".




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[info]samson28
2006-07-29 07:42 pm UTC (link)
This was lovely. :)

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Wah, thank you.

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[info]miel_marie
2006-07-29 07:47 pm UTC (link)
Yay! Pirates! Tension! Gay prison love-angst!

“Prize, am I?” Jack mused. He could see Norrington’s muscles go tense under the heavy cloth of his uniform.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Sparrow,” Norrington replied in a hoarse whisper.


Like stallions prancing in a field, sweat glistening off their flanks, testosterone fogging the air, etc. Boys will be boys.

As always, lovely, nuanced writing. My first and only real suggestion would be to refine your first sentence to: "The sound of footfall in the corridor roused Jack from his restless sleep." Starting a story with "it was" just seems wrong; the rest of your writing is so sharp and lively.

On another note, when I'm not careful I start hearing Jack Sparrow's lines in Tim Curry-speak, circa "Muppet Treasure Island," which isn't your fault but the fualt of two Ambiguously Gay Actors playing two Ambiguously Gay Pirates.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Ahahah. I LOVE "Muppet Treasure Island." So much. And, Lord, Tim Curry. Now there's a couple of pirates who ought to meet. I'm not sure how the Muppets would fit into the "Pirates" world, though.

About that first sentence, I know what you mean. I thought about it for a long while, but I like the sort of implicit question in the sentence as it is now, as if Jack is wondering, "What woke me up? Ah, it was the sound of . . ." But maybe that doesn't come through. I'm not sure. I also like the cadence of it. "It was the sound of footfall that . . ." somehow sounds more piratical to me. Anyway. The book's not closed on this one yet. I definitely see where you're coming from.

Anyway. Thanks for the kind, thoughtful, lovely response. Whee.

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[info]valorose
2006-07-29 07:51 pm UTC (link)
This is my first ever sparrington fic that i've read! i really enjoyed it, you write the characters very well :)

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 08:06 pm UTC (link)
Wow! I'm glad I could make your first time enjoyable. Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]valorose, 2006-07-29 08:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cassyl, 2006-07-29 08:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]valorose, 2006-07-29 08:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cassyl, 2006-07-29 08:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sweetphaex, 2006-08-06 10:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cassyl, 2006-08-06 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sweetphaex, 2006-08-07 06:49 am UTC

[info]gileonnen
2006-07-29 08:00 pm UTC (link)
This was so very lovely; I loved it so much . . . I can't seem to put together a clause that doesn't use some form of the word "love"; is that sufficient praise? ^___^

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 08:07 pm UTC (link)
More than sufficient, I would say. Thank you!

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[info]thalia_seawood
2006-07-29 09:57 pm UTC (link)
Squee! It's a "James rescues Jack" story. I so wanted to read a story like this!

Love how focused and intense James is and that Jack isn't quite able to figure him out. The UST is shiny!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 10:35 pm UTC (link)
Heheh, nothing better than shiny. I have to admit, I'm a bit of a sucker for a rescue scenario, myself. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for telling me so!

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[info]fabu
2006-07-29 10:20 pm UTC (link)
Oh, nicely done! I like the character voices and the way this skates along the line between subtext and text. . .

I loved this bit in particular:

“The nearest exit is up the stairs and to your left,” the man continued, as if Jack had not spoken. “There is a detail of at least ten men outside. You would do best to avoid them altogether. Do I make myself understood?”

“I’m the picture of comprehension.”

Norrington’s lips twitched slightly. “And I’ll thank you to leave me unconscious.”

“I aim to please,” Jack replied with a courteous flourish that was only somewhat hampered by his shackles.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 10:36 pm UTC (link)
Ooh, thank you. That's very nice to hear.

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[info]authormichals
2006-07-29 10:23 pm UTC (link)
This is wonderful. Well written with great characterization and vocabulary (I like words and language, I notice things like that). Great job.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 10:36 pm UTC (link)
As a fellow fan of the English language, thank you!

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[info]greenmtnboy18
2006-07-29 10:36 pm UTC (link)
DELIGHTFUL. Oh my yes... delightful. Yum. Just... yum. Hee!

Love love love it. Especially the trembling lips.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-29 10:47 pm UTC (link)
Aww, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed those trembling lips.

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[info]rum_roguery
2006-07-29 11:12 pm UTC (link)
Beautiful! I do indeed hope that Jack and James come to some kind of peaceful accord in the next film.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-30 03:17 am UTC (link)
That would be nice, wouldn't it? Thanks for the kind words!

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[info]feral_journey
2006-07-29 11:37 pm UTC (link)
Very, very nice!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-30 03:18 am UTC (link)
Thank you very, very much.

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[info]aris_tgd
2006-07-30 12:04 am UTC (link)
Prison break!

Yay for planned obsolescence, because this was wonderful. Fantastic characterization.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-30 03:19 am UTC (link)
Thank! You know, I just figure, I write fanfiction for my own entertainment, anyway, so who really cares if it becomes AU in a short while? I'm having fun with it, and it's nice to know other people are, too.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cassyl, 2006-07-30 03:21 am UTC

[info]seleneheart
2006-07-30 01:07 am UTC (link)
Very nice. I like how you've gotten Norrington to do the right thing without unbending his essential character.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-30 03:20 am UTC (link)
Cool, I'm glad that worked for you. Thanks for the kind words.

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[info]jenlan
2006-07-30 03:47 am UTC (link)
We knew James couldn't stay unmoved, because like Jack, he's a good man. And lovely how this played out. Especially the tension between the two all the while.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-30 06:17 am UTC (link)
Thank you, it's good to know it played well.

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[info]jacklemmon
2006-07-30 04:48 am UTC (link)
Hurrah! I quite liked this. I could definitely hear the characters, and feel the surrounding cell.

Thanks for sharing!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-30 06:18 am UTC (link)
That's the best I could hope for, really. Thank you!

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[info]vintage__cherry
2006-07-30 08:02 am UTC (link)
nicely done, that's all I can really say that and great characterization and a really great ending.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 03:00 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm especially pleased to hear that about the ending. I didn't want to let it get too sentimental, but I was worried about it seeming abrupt, so I'm glad it played well for you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(no subject) - [info]cassyl, 2006-07-31 03:02 am UTC

[info]the_stowaway
2006-07-30 05:57 pm UTC (link)
Oh, well done! I love their voices - they sound very true. Jack's feigned insouciance and James's tension are lovely to watch.

Good stuff!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 03:04 am UTC (link)
I love Jack's feigned insouciance--that moment in the Port Royal jail where he lies back and pretends to be napping before Will arrives is, obviously, the pattern for his behavior here, because, well, how can you not imitate something to great? Anyhow. Thanks for the kind words!

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[info]donella
2006-07-30 10:39 pm UTC (link)
This was really wonderful. Jack and Norrington's voices were perfect. Keep it up!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 03:05 am UTC (link)
Thank you! It's kind reviews like this to make me want to keep it up.

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[info]blue_autumn_sky
2006-07-31 02:12 am UTC (link)
oohh..very nice.

*sniff* I smell a long line of James saves Jack fics coming, instead of those of those Jack saves James fics. 'Bout time. *sniff* Or is that just the lasagna burning?

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 03:07 am UTC (link)
Thanks! And for the record, it's not my lasagna. And I hope it's not yours, either, because I love a good rescue scenario. I'll take my rescue any which way--Jack saving James, James saving Jack, Cotton's parrot saving them both . . .

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[info]aenohe
2006-07-31 03:08 am UTC (link)
You've really captured just the way each character speaks; I can definitely picture and hear them speaking those words. Nicely done!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 03:44 am UTC (link)
Rar. Thank you!

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[info]azziria
2006-07-31 04:38 am UTC (link)
Very nice - you've caught their voices exactly :-)

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 04:39 am UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]tevere
2006-07-31 11:44 am UTC (link)
Oh, I liked this. Understated -- not overdone at all. And there's a real sense of the characters in the dialogue.

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 05:45 pm UTC (link)
Thank you, that's very nice to hear.

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[info]polly_glot
2006-07-31 04:37 pm UTC (link)
Very nice!

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[info]cassyl
2006-07-31 06:15 pm UTC (link)
Thanks!

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[info]not_last_resort
2006-07-31 10:13 pm UTC (link)
Awww! This was really sweet. I loved this! Norrie getting right to the point to avoid drawing attention to the fact that HE is helping a PIRATE, yet said pirate forcing him to admit his reasons anyway :-D Oooh and I loved the little hints at nervousness in Norrie towards the end when Jack got too close for comfort. This made me happy.

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[info]cassyl
2006-08-01 01:43 am UTC (link)
Aww, thank you!

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=^.^=
[info]ships_cat_nyan
2006-08-06 10:48 pm UTC (link)
Waah! Your fanfiction is great!

"He could see Norrington’s muscles go tense under the heavy cloth of his uniform."
Wonderful!

But I fear this story won't have a happy end for Norrington. The guard will tell Beckett that Norrington knocked him out. Being knocked out by Jack ( just after attacking the guard ) won't help Norrington much. Beckett will know from the guard that Norrington helped the pirate.

( Aaah!>.< I'm so bad in English. Sorry! )

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Re: =^.^=
[info]cassyl
2006-08-06 11:02 pm UTC (link)
Don't worry--James knocked the guard out before he got a good look at who was doing the punching. If James should be worried about anything, it's Jack and his near-infallable tendency to get what he wants . . .

Anyhow. Thanks so much for the kind (and impassioned) words.

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[info]gestalt1
2006-08-15 02:30 pm UTC (link)
Yay! *grins happily* Very nice indeed!

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[info]cassyl
2006-08-15 03:32 pm UTC (link)
Aww, well, thank you!

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